It Was a Weird Morning

Getting off the bus this morning, I heard a woman behind me go 'Excuse Me!' I turned to find a short Indian woman staring at intently me. She put her hand on my shoulder and leaned in, like she was about to tell me a very important secret that could save my life in the next twenty-four hours.

"I'm old enough to be your mother," she said. "So you won't be embarrassed when I tell you your fly is open."

I looked down, and its not just a little open. Its a gaping maw of underwear and humilation. I mumbled thanks and scuried away, frantically grabbing at my crotch.

Immediately after that, I was walking by the new library when a janitor walked out carrying two trash bags. The first thing you noticed about this man was that he was a little person. I guess he caught me sneaking a glance at him, because as he walked by, he turned to me and said, "Welcome, sir, the University of Florida! Home of the Florida Gators!"

There's really nothing you can say to that, so I once again scuried away and mumbled a thanks.