OK, Now You Can Offically Sing 'In The Navy'

So in case you didn't hear, yes, I got accepted into the Navy. I thought I'd let everyone know what this means, in order to answer what I assume are your many questions.

First off, I am actually not in the Navy yet. What I am is 'Professional Accepted.' This means that a bunch of guys many pay grades higher than I will be got together in a room, looked at my application, test scores, and employer references and said, "This guy looks good. Let him in."

There are still a few things I need to do. The first and most important is pass my Physical Readiness Test (PRT). This involves 47 push ups and 58 sit ups in two minutes (not the same two minutes) and a mile and a half run in 12 minutes. I'm not there yet, but getting accepted is a huge motivation booster. I just got back from a 2.75 mile run/jog. I've never run that far before in my life.

Second, for those wondering, no I did not get into Intelligence. I got into Surface Warfare (which I've learned is shortened to SWO, pronounced S-Whoa). However, I didn't get NOT get into Intel. The Intel guys just haven't gotten into that room to look over my application yet. I'm going to give them that time and not jump into SWO immediately.

Finally, many may be wondering where I go from here. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure. I need to talk to my recruiter more. But assuming I pass my PRT, I get into Officer Candidate School (OCS) in Newport, Rhode Island. where I will wear a uniform all the time, cut my hair real short, and be forced to work out every morning at 5AM. Yes, I know, it sounds right up my alley, huh?

Quotes From This Weekend

A great many very stupid things were said this weekend. We wrote down only a few. Here's the best of them. Some names have been changed to at least somewhat protect the very very guilty.

Matt: Once Lex whips his penis out, I'm calling the Highway Patrol.
(Mind you, we had started mooning each other about 15 minutes into the roadtrip.)

DuBo to Abbi: We need to meet guys who aren't gay.

Matt: (In reference to Casey Dick, quarterback to the Arkansas Razorbacks) The guy's name is Dick and he throws like his arm is a limp penis.

Matt: This may end up with us all squealing like a pig.
....ANAL RAPE JOKES!!! WHOOOOO!!!

Matt: We are so gonna die!
(Swerves car sharply)
Dying right now!

Abbi, impersonating Lex: I'll show you my dick, have a beer.

Matt: I'm so torturing my kids.
Dubo: You have to find a woman to have sex with you first.

Matt: Amos, repeat after me...bastard hung up on me.

Random USC fan (who is male): Are you ans of the Cock?

Matt: We're drinking somewhere, then driving somewhere.

Drunk SC girl: Fuck Florida, Fuck Florida, Fuck Florida...Not gonna lie, you're gonna win.

Abbi: I told you, you should have a shirt that says, "Hey, I'm Matt and I'm a douchebag."

The following quotes were recorded during a very...informative game of Ring of Fire. Names have been changed where embarrassing.

Bill: Have you ever had sex in a room with a toilet...a room with a toilet, not having sex with the toilet.

Alex (referring to someone saying Marching Band was a sport): If there are really fat kids in it, its not a sport.

(After someone blamed a SC brother for waking them up with by sex noises)
SC Brother: It was my phone!
Matt: Your phone goes "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Matt: Have you ever had sex at one of the 7 Wonders of the World?
Darcy: That's nothing to be ashamed of!

Andrew: I said "Yahtzee!" on Bourbon St? That's just about the greatest story ever!

SC Bro 1: Have you ever had sex in the ocean?
SC Bro 2: (kinda stunned): ...No!
SC Bro 3: Doesn't that burn?
SC Bro 1: No!

SC Bro 1 (in reference to a question about how many people someone had slept with): 29 people? Don't you know how dangerous that is?
Bill: Yeah, but there are jellyfish in the ocean.

Andrew: Since I've got here, I've had much many.