Gainesville Ramblings

This is a blog, and thus it barely qualifies as writing, let alone formal writing, so I'd not let it bother you.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Quotes From This Weekend

A great many very stupid things were said this weekend. We wrote down only a few. Here's the best of them. Some names have been changed to at least somewhat protect the very very guilty.

Matt: Once Lex whips his penis out, I'm calling the Highway Patrol.
(Mind you, we had started mooning each other about 15 minutes into the roadtrip.)

DuBo to Abbi: We need to meet guys who aren't gay.

Matt: (In reference to Casey Dick, quarterback to the Arkansas Razorbacks) The guy's name is Dick and he throws like his arm is a limp penis.

Matt: This may end up with us all squealing like a pig.
....ANAL RAPE JOKES!!! WHOOOOO!!!

Matt: We are so gonna die!
(Swerves car sharply)
Dying right now!

Abbi, impersonating Lex: I'll show you my dick, have a beer.

Matt: I'm so torturing my kids.
Dubo: You have to find a woman to have sex with you first.

Matt: Amos, repeat after me...bastard hung up on me.

Random USC fan (who is male): Are you ans of the Cock?

Matt: We're drinking somewhere, then driving somewhere.

Drunk SC girl: Fuck Florida, Fuck Florida, Fuck Florida...Not gonna lie, you're gonna win.

Abbi: I told you, you should have a shirt that says, "Hey, I'm Matt and I'm a douchebag."

The following quotes were recorded during a very...informative game of Ring of Fire. Names have been changed where embarrassing.

Bill: Have you ever had sex in a room with a toilet...a room with a toilet, not having sex with the toilet.

Alex (referring to someone saying Marching Band was a sport): If there are really fat kids in it, its not a sport.

(After someone blamed a SC brother for waking them up with by sex noises)
SC Brother: It was my phone!
Matt: Your phone goes "Oh! Oh! Oh!"

Matt: Have you ever had sex at one of the 7 Wonders of the World?
Darcy: That's nothing to be ashamed of!

Andrew: I said "Yahtzee!" on Bourbon St? That's just about the greatest story ever!

SC Bro 1: Have you ever had sex in the ocean?
SC Bro 2: (kinda stunned): ...No!
SC Bro 3: Doesn't that burn?
SC Bro 1: No!

SC Bro 1 (in reference to a question about how many people someone had slept with): 29 people? Don't you know how dangerous that is?
Bill: Yeah, but there are jellyfish in the ocean.

Andrew: Since I've got here, I've had much many.

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