Gainesville Ramblings

This is a blog, and thus it barely qualifies as writing, let alone formal writing, so I'd not let it bother you.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Man Vs. Wild Drinking Game

A few weeks ago, I went over to Cush's and we ended up watching what is probably the best show on television right now: Man Vs. Wild. In this show, Bear Grylls proves that he is a true man. This is a guy whose parachute didn't open when jumping out of an airplane, he broke his back in three places, went through 18 months of rehab, and then decided to climb Everest. Yes, Bear Grylls, you are truly more man than the rest of us.

But if you haven't seen this show yet, you really need to turn on the Discovery Channel, cause its always on. Basically, Bear gets dropped into a remote place in the world, with a knife, a piece of flint, and a water bottle. He has to find his way out, using only his wits, and his ability to get out alive. It usually involves some combination Bear doing stuff absolutely bat-shit insane, killing things, and making wierd shelters to stay in.

But back to the story: Me and Cush are watching Man Vs. Wild, and decide to make a drinking game of it. Now, here are the rules that have become a Friday evening tradition:

Take a drink if:
...Bear says he is an experienced climber
...Bear says that something is 'not ideal.'
...he uses Britishism (such as saying torch instead of flashlight, or 'glacier' with a short vowel sound at 'a')
...he kills something (including bugs and grubs)
...Bear lights a fire...he has to find his bearings, or actually does find his bearings
...he tells you that you have to keep your spirits up
...he tells you to find a stream and follow it to a river, and follow that to civilization
...Bear tells you to about a native technique
...Bear tells about someone getting lost or dying horribly in the environment he's in
...Bear contradicts the Bible (something happening millions of years ago, mentioning evolution, etc.)
...anyone in the room says 'What the fuck?!' in response to something Bear does.
...he builds a shelter
...night vision is used
...uses a stick for something other than walking

Take two drinks if:
...Bear kills something in a bad ass way (uses a homemade bow and arrow, uses a throwing stick to take out a rabbit)
...Bear bites into something still alive
...he yells at the camera man
...he puts himself in danger to show you how to get out of it

Take three drinks if:
...Bear fails to light a fire
...Bear eats something that's already dead
...he has to use the camera guys (for light, for example)

Drink the entire time that Bear:
...Drinks his own urine
...Drinks poo water
...Does anything that makes you gag

So this Friday at 9pm, gather with your friends, get some beer, and marvel at the man named Bear.

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